It's 2012, happy end of the world. Whether or not its true, this last year has been full of change.
I moved away from my mother, joined the local Anarchist Bookfair collective and started putting in an effort to meet new people. My medical treatments did get upgraded because I haven't gotten any better but hopefully I'll being seeing results soon, or just changing them until I do. Looking after myself is almost a priority now, but being halfway happy half of the time is something I've gotten good at. I got 200 hours in Oblivion There was a lot of miserable crap but its not worth dwelling on; it's more important to keep moving forward.
In memorial of my best friend who passed away August 2010, I quit drinking. Even though there wasn't any result shared from the autopsy, no one who knew her doubted that her drinking had a hand in whatever happened and it hasn't been easy but I've stuck to it for 7 months. Being a drunk is no way to honour someone who drank themselves to death.
It feels really odd to be proud of myself for getting things together this last year but I never have had to before. I got to grow up a lot, and I'm actually looking forward to whatever is going to happen next. So I don't bugger things up so terribly, I actually got an organizer and I'm not going to ditch it after a month. I don't really do resolutions, otherwise I'd post 'em, but here's to not fucking everything up.
Showing posts with label arthritis. Show all posts
Showing posts with label arthritis. Show all posts
2012-01-03
2011-10-19
Support and back up
I know I'm getting up to the age where I might want to have children; its a common topic with my parents and the few adults that concern themselves with me. They always assure me that I'll have their support, but to what extent?
The idea of someday being able to give birth does excite me but I know it won't be easy for me. Due to my illnesses, there would be massive potential complications. My body just not being able to handle the extra effort to support a growing being, or there could be defects from the built up toxicity from medications; I just might not be able to conceive. To increase the likelihood of a healthy pregnancy I could quit taking most of my medications, but that's not actually an option. The chance of me currently or in the next 5 years being able to conceive and carry a child to term is so small that its not even worth counting. Even if I were to get accidentally pregnant, I'd probably have no choice but to abort it. No aspect of my current situation would make having a child an option; my health is too bad, we don't have enough money and no space to accommodate even a crib. If I did end up getting pregnant, like so many people seem to want for me, how much would they support me if I had to have an abortion?
I won't get into all of the little arguments that are pro or anti-choice, but it does seem incredibly heartless to deny that a woman who could die the right to an abortion. There are no abortions of convenience, or ones done flippantly or carelessly. Considering that terminating a pregnancy isn't a small decision, it would make sense to have networks to support women considering the procedure, but those efforts are overtaken by the christian, conservative media. Mothers get alienated and suffer because of pressure from sources they might not even believe in.
The only way to make sensitive topics easier to deal with is to have open honest dialogue. Staying quiet just perpetuates more silence, and no issue can be solved by ignoring it. Abortion is one of the bigger debates shielded by ignorance and denial, but is the most dangerous to be not handled correctly. Even if some governments aren't willing to allow safe abortions or family planning groups, we owe it to ourselves to make sure we're getting honest information and community support against the anti-choice groups that are willing to put lives on the line over things they have no reason to step into.
The idea of someday being able to give birth does excite me but I know it won't be easy for me. Due to my illnesses, there would be massive potential complications. My body just not being able to handle the extra effort to support a growing being, or there could be defects from the built up toxicity from medications; I just might not be able to conceive. To increase the likelihood of a healthy pregnancy I could quit taking most of my medications, but that's not actually an option. The chance of me currently or in the next 5 years being able to conceive and carry a child to term is so small that its not even worth counting. Even if I were to get accidentally pregnant, I'd probably have no choice but to abort it. No aspect of my current situation would make having a child an option; my health is too bad, we don't have enough money and no space to accommodate even a crib. If I did end up getting pregnant, like so many people seem to want for me, how much would they support me if I had to have an abortion?
I won't get into all of the little arguments that are pro or anti-choice, but it does seem incredibly heartless to deny that a woman who could die the right to an abortion. There are no abortions of convenience, or ones done flippantly or carelessly. Considering that terminating a pregnancy isn't a small decision, it would make sense to have networks to support women considering the procedure, but those efforts are overtaken by the christian, conservative media. Mothers get alienated and suffer because of pressure from sources they might not even believe in.
The only way to make sensitive topics easier to deal with is to have open honest dialogue. Staying quiet just perpetuates more silence, and no issue can be solved by ignoring it. Abortion is one of the bigger debates shielded by ignorance and denial, but is the most dangerous to be not handled correctly. Even if some governments aren't willing to allow safe abortions or family planning groups, we owe it to ourselves to make sure we're getting honest information and community support against the anti-choice groups that are willing to put lives on the line over things they have no reason to step into.
2011-07-27
home injections
This week is my 5th week of doing methotrexate injections at home. For a long time I avoided doing them at home just out of fear.
Home tattoos aren't a problem
Home piercings aren't a problem
Getting blood taken is not an issue
Doing piercings professionally isn't a problem
I can't seem to do the injections. It stopped being an option for me to go to a clinic and get them done after I moved because the closest one is a 50+ minute walk away or an uphill bike ride. Over time the pills quit bothering me, I'm sure I'll get used to the IV treatments. I've just accepted the constant aches and stiffness and lack of mobility as part of my life. My cane isn't the huge embarrassment it used to be but the fact all of this stress is constant and unwavering just wears you down.
I've tried to make things more comfortable, I try to relax and get things done quickly. There's always something I've got ready to go do as soon as I'm done, like a meal or a film or I'll have TF2 loading as a distraction. If there's a way to make doing these easier, I don't know it.
Home tattoos aren't a problem
Home piercings aren't a problem
Getting blood taken is not an issue
Doing piercings professionally isn't a problem
I can't seem to do the injections. It stopped being an option for me to go to a clinic and get them done after I moved because the closest one is a 50+ minute walk away or an uphill bike ride. Over time the pills quit bothering me, I'm sure I'll get used to the IV treatments. I've just accepted the constant aches and stiffness and lack of mobility as part of my life. My cane isn't the huge embarrassment it used to be but the fact all of this stress is constant and unwavering just wears you down.
I've tried to make things more comfortable, I try to relax and get things done quickly. There's always something I've got ready to go do as soon as I'm done, like a meal or a film or I'll have TF2 loading as a distraction. If there's a way to make doing these easier, I don't know it.
First swings
If I'm going to be stuck in my flat because of illness, but with a head still full of sharp ideas, I may as well put it all somewhere.
All of the simple and significant things about me are point-formed on the side. I'm small, in my early 20s and dealing with a chronic illness that leaves me not really able to work or even get around. Even though I do have a lot of mobility issues, I try to keep up with all of my old interests and hobbies, like bike riding, sewing, baking, and general mischief. Social responsibility and shattering the really fucked up mentality of how to treat other earthlings is critically important to me. There are too many things going on in the world because people are over complacent with what the distorted media and corporate puppets in the government are feeding us and it has to stop. If there's one thing worth fighting for, its living free and honest.
All of the simple and significant things about me are point-formed on the side. I'm small, in my early 20s and dealing with a chronic illness that leaves me not really able to work or even get around. Even though I do have a lot of mobility issues, I try to keep up with all of my old interests and hobbies, like bike riding, sewing, baking, and general mischief. Social responsibility and shattering the really fucked up mentality of how to treat other earthlings is critically important to me. There are too many things going on in the world because people are over complacent with what the distorted media and corporate puppets in the government are feeding us and it has to stop. If there's one thing worth fighting for, its living free and honest.
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